I wasn’t planning writing any sort of post that looked back at 2020 to any degree and I suppose this post doesn’t exactly do that either. However it didn’t feel right to start back up again and not acknowledge my feelings towards 2021.
I am definitely ready to move forward and hopefully go into a year that looks a bit more positive and I don’t mean that just with coronavirus. My education, personal health and surroundings definitely took a hit last year and I’m willing to fast forward to something kinder and happier (to some degree, after the fast changing world we live in I can’t exactly be wanting miracles).
Over the past few weeks during my break from posting I noticed hundreds of posts from people ecstatic about 2021 thinking it would be a new start or they were looking back on 2020 picking out all the positives. But I can’t sit here and gloss over a worldwide pandemic and not consider the affect that has had, possibly to numerous of my readers. I definitely couldn’t shove positivity onto a page and think it would make absolutely everyone feel better. So, instead I posted nothing.
Which could sound rather pessimistic but I’d rather use the term realist.
Instead, I am going into 2021 a bit more prepared mentally for the stress that could arise from online learning and an extended pandemic. I am purposely not being too hopeful because I don’t want to disappoint myself (this was written literally just before lockdown was announced so I was probably right in not being too optimistic). I turn 21 in February and I am slowly coming to terms with the fact this will probably be a very different birthday for me. Yet you have to make the most out of what is given to you and I am determined to carry a smile on my face for as long as possible.
If 2020 taught us all anything it is that we are strong, capable individuals who are prepared to make sacrifices for long term health and positivity. It might not seem like it but this will pass. At least that is what I am reminding myself daily (if we can do it for a whole year I am sure we can continue to do it for a bitty longer, right?).
I was never a goal setter or a New Years resolution type of girl however I have set some mental goals for myself that are completely manageable and lenient. I think I have realised there are things I can do to make myself feel a lot better, rather than any physical changes, I want to do what’s right for me.
I want to have a better relationship with exercise, which is something I plan to write on in the near future because it definitely is a can of worms which bothers me on the daily, I want to work hard at being creative and looking after my creative self, I also need to get a part time job (please send me all the positive vibes with this one because in an economic crisis I’m kind of scared about this one) and I want to take more time to be in touch with my emotions rather than chucking them to the back of my head.
I guess I look at these things as goals I can work towards and keep in the back of my head, I don’t actually strive towards them everyday, I understand that it will be a gradual journey which I am more than happy to be on.
For now going into 2021 looks more like an extended version of 2020. Which, surprisingly, I’m just rolling with. I’ve become a lot more easy-going with my emotions towards the constant changes because I know there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Does it suck that my time at uni, which only happens once, has been a fraction of what I’ve been promised? Of course it does. Is it frustrating that my future career prospects could be damaged because I can’t get any relevant work experience? Yes. Am I scared that I am losing out on opportunities to meet new people and experience new things? Yes. But can I change any of these things? No. I just have to deal with it and do as much as I can in the environment I am in.
I’m going into 2021 with my friends and family close, realising what matters to me most and hopefully getting a clearer idea of what/who is good for me and what I should let go of.
Let me know your thoughts towards the new year below, remember we are all in this together!
Sending you lots of love and positivity,
Sophie xx
